"When you are being run out of town, get in front of it and make it look like a parade." I had a carry bag with that advice on it :-) I think to quit responding negatively, you have to get in front and be the action you want to see instead of just waiting around to comment on what is going on around you? Don't ignore yourself and get out there and invite people to do stuff; look at it positively when they say, "no" -- if the same person is always saying "no" you'll know to cross that person off your list of potential friends/people to hang with. Decide what you want to do and go do it instead of just being negative about what other people suggest? The rub is that it is harder to instigate than just sit back and comment.