So I may be outing myself to those who will know who I am but last night on my walk to my Mood Disorders Support Group (I am bipolar in addition to having trauma related issues) I was verbally accosted by someone in the street. Whether I had been in the wrong or not is beside the point.

Although in reality I am sure he did no more than lip off to me, I instead immediately reacted with terror. I was convinced my life was in danger; yet, I could neither take flight nor fight. Instead I just shut down. For how long I do not know. The bridge was full of people when the incident happened but empty when I 'came to' and realized what had happened.

Then I faced the usual emotions I face after an encounter or trigger. Instead of getting angry at the perpetrator I got angry at myself. How dare I behave that way, how humiliating, everyone is laughing at me, and I am like a small frightened child.

I resent being made to feel this way.