Dear TishaBuv,
One possibility: The fact that he's making you hysterical means that he has the capacity to really hurt you. Only people we really love in some way can hurt us that deeply. I don't know him or if there are a few or many things that have or are hurting you so deeply. Nor do I know how it will all end. Marriage counseling is good but remember all healthy relationships start with learning to forgive and love yourself first. I'm not saying it's easy.