Hello MichiganDave: Well... what I can tell you is that I am an older man. And many years ago, I became involved in some stuff not all that much different from what you describe here. It all haunts me to this day. I don't know what to tell you about this. The Skeezyks generally prefers to leave the advice giving to other members here on PC.

The first thing I would suggest is to see a therapist asap. (There's no time to waste here.) Find an objective mental health professional you can work with... someone who can help you figure out why it is you got yourself into this mess to begin with; & someone with whom you can figure out where to go from here. Looking back on my experience, I think one of the problems I had was I had no one to talk to about what I was doing. Back then people just didn't go to therapists. And I had no friends or relatives I could talk to. I was simply at the mercy of forces I did not understand at that age... some internal... some external.

This is a situation that is likely to end poorly no matter what. (And I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do. That is for you to decide.) What's done is done. There's no erasing it. Beyond seeing a therapist, from my perspective, I think what needs to happen here is for you to make a decision one way or another... and stick with it. If you can, try to project yourself into the future & imagine how you will feel years from now about the decision you're about to make. If you can, let that be your guide.

Once you've made your decision, don't look back. Don't reconsider. If you find yourself vacillating, tell yourself: "Nope... that decision has already been made." And then press on. Again from my personal perspective, one of the worst things you can do here is to keep vacillating... to keep going back-&-forth. Remember you're dealing with other peoples' lives here. However, one way or another, make an end of it all... as soon as you can. But also be prepared for the fact that you will have to live with the consequences of your decision for the rest of your life... as will others who are involved. You've made your bed, as the saying goes. Now you must lie in it. That's all I can say.

By the way, I don't know if you've thought about this. But since you've rekindled your relationship with this young woman, should you decide to break it off with her again, & she finds out about your real marital status she could well retaliate by contacting your wife & informing her with regard to what's been going on. Were that to occur, you likely would be abandoned by both women; which would be one way of accomplishing just what you mentioned to begin with... leaving both women... or in this scenario being dumped by both women.

Good luck...