Ok Ok. I am not stupid. But if I am not stupid why can't I remember the things I have learned and spout off all over the place on these boards. Why can't I make my advice work for me when my being becomes fractured? Why can't I just not do these things? Why do I get lost inside somewhere and allow someone who is not concerned for my wellbeing take over the operation of my body? I look at my thigh and my stomach churns and I become afraid because I can see how close I was to not being here anymore. People, I don't want to die but sometimes I wonder if it is within my power to keep from killing myself. It is like I dissappear into a dark place and the part of me that is left is a sad hateful little girl who wants nothing more then to end the pain in any possible way. Any way.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson