As the smileys say I'm confused!

Being a teenager I know confusion comes with it. Regardless it hurts I know I can count on you all to help me.

I'm 17 , 1 year and I'm in the adult world. And yet I don't "get", or "understand" myself. Heck, I like a wide variety of music, and constantly bash myself saying "kids my age like 1 style , and they get in a "click" and they rebel, yet there is me, the american eagle t-shirt wearing, dress pants guy.

I've never had a romance at a young age. For some reason I feel it nesscary, I want it, I want to experience the faults of young ppl, I'm just expericing the guilt of being behind.

I've never fit in at school. In fact each 4 years of highschool I dressed different trying to attract different ppl and "clicks" (groups). Its never worked. Of course I talkl to a few ppl, but seldom, very seldom am I comfortable with them and consider them "true" friends.

My sex drive is of course high, espcially being a guy( i hear we have a higher sex drive in the teens then girls ). The thought of lust and greed botheers me aas you can tell from previous posts. Yet a sexual relationship seems to be a "need" from me...I'm so sad.....

Sexuality is a biggy, while I'm not physically attracted to others guys, I do fantasize. And its scary becausue the confusion it brings....

I just wonder if this is a game life is pllaying for me now. My T said heer early 20's where hard for her, so maybe my teens are hard for me then it'll get better.

I doubt that, I'm not trying to tell myself I wont get better, but I however do NOT believe this is a teen thing.....I can't explain why.....

I could be wrong....

ty for lisstening

Dustin