I think to explore my own sadism at this point of my life would conflict with my religion. I know there are those who blend the two and I know if I were to remarry what I did in my bedroom would be my business but so far I've only been mocked for my alpha nature. I suppose when I meet a man who respects my alpha nature with men we might be in business but that has yet to happen and I'd rather be alone then be mocked. This ties into my thread on survivors of abuse. I've already had one abusive marriage. I'm not interested in a repeat performance .