Hello The Green Manalishi: I'm sorry you are struggling. The Skeezyks is the bitter old geezer you don't want to turn into. Being there myself, I can certainly understand how you would feel that way. In my case, it's too late in life to do anything about it. It all just is what it is. I don't know how you overcome this. I wasn't able to. But I offer you my best wishes with the hope that you will be able to find your way to healing...