My h told his 'side' of our story in a strangely single-faceted way, omitting critical information. He spoke very slowly, giving very little detail. He took a long time with his answers to the questions the t asked, looking pensive. The t rambled on about having confidence to be encouraging in a gentle tone of voice.

Then I told my 'side', painting the whole picture, telling him how dysfunctional we both truly have been. The t said I was being histrionic and took a rather abrasive tone with me. When I started to cry he looked so cold and intentionally emotionless to me, like that was something he purposely wanted to portray, and handed me a box of tissues. I swear I read on his face that he was thinking 'you are not going to get any sympathy from me with those tears!'.

I feel like this same thing happened with the last male t we went to together, too. That guy outright attacked me with his tone and whatever he said to me in that session, which I really don't remember, only that I was hysterically crying.

I also feel like my husband is playing the situation. He is purposely playing this by pretending to be so clueless and one dimensional. If he is truly honest, I can't understand what is wrong with him. It is not possible for a person to be so dense.

Wait! The same dynamic happened yet another time with two male T's in the room we went to together. Same thing! I also felt attacked, like they all ganged up on me.

Interestingly, the female T's we went to were different. One focused that he should eat lunch and exercise to come home in a better mood. We stopped seeing her because it seemed wrong that we would need to keep checking in with her to keep us on track for initiating sex. It seemed like a dominatrix, weird dynamic.

It's just all too weird.

I did not feel attacked by the male t who told me to have my h come see him and he would give him a good talking to. I hate to stereotype, but he was an inner-city black man who was very macho and these other T's were suburban white average built males. The women were middle aged white females. The women seemed the most neutral in their treatment toward both of us, and yet there was something just too uncomfortable about the whole dynamic about the very nature of our sexual problem and involving someone else in the mix, period.

After seeing many, many therapists about this, I feel it's just futile.