Sorry you are being ganged up on, not helped. Sounds like you just need to go to your own therapist. It sounds like your husband is taking something (anger at you?) out on you in a very passive aggressive way. It sounds awful.
My recent suggestions are a bit biased, in that, my husband and I, somehow, figured out a way to feel love for each other again. Of course, being a romantic, want everyone to be so lucky. But, I know that every marriage is different and some of the dynamics are simply indescribable.
So I am so sorry that your marriage is not working. The whole situation sounds maddening in ways that would make many women upset down to their core! You must be especially upset by the the fact that h is not showing tenderness/love. Sorry you are going through this!