Hi Retro, I too would find that way of working so very frustrating and I know it would not work for me. I have a humanistic T and whilst she and I both acknowledge that she is not there to comfort me to make me feel better she will actually answer some of the questions that I have and does use touch with me and is starting to realise that having that internal voice modelled by her is healing for me in the long term, because that is what this is all about, long term healing, not short term comforting. I have asked my T if she will hold me while I cry to help me really feel the pain and know that someone is right there in it with me, and she had said that she will. I know the time isn't right for that yet but at least I know that we are working towards something that is possible, not impossible, because if I knew it was impossible, then I could not do all of this groundwork building trust and sharing myself first.

I found it interesting that you said you want her to make everything better. Realistically, I don't think this is what a T is there for, I don't think this should be a goal, and I wonder if you know that deep down, and that he part of you that wants that is whose voice was speaking then. Are you sure that psychodynamic therapy is right for you at the moment? I only say this because of the frustration that you seem to be experiencing. Humanistic believes that we as individuals know what we need in order to heal, and the T follows the clients lead on this, or maybe I am just lucky with my T.

I am so pleased for you that you managed to raise all of this with her and realisr that weekly is necessary for you right now, I hope that you can get this, at least.

As for forming a healthy attachment. I think it isn't something you can do on your own. It takes a T who us consistent, reliable, dependable, who meets our needs (what you seem to be lacking here) and who holds us as the main focus for the time. It takes someone who had boundaries but in a non rigid, non authoritarian way. Between me and my T we have come up with solutions to meet my needs that suit both of us, because it has to be sustainable for us both.

I hope this helps in some way, though I know it won't really help you in your current situation. Again, good for you for advocating for yourself, I hope you can continue in this vain.