I feel there are several areas in my life that need fixing. I have been thru therapy before, been there done that.
I feel like my bipolar is out of whack but don't want to change meds nor mention it to my pdoc.
I feel like I have obsessions, extremes.
organics, excesive internet usuage, increased alcohol consumption, spending too much on food and eating out. worried about our future, over all health, lack of exercise stamina (my calves are sore from going to the concert!), our house is old, waiting for the shoe to drop.... avoidance of showering cleaning myself, lack of desire, motivation to clean my house, work in the yard, feel very lazy. I am feeling very old, my life is stuck in this pattern/rut. I worry about being able to love people....
maybe I am just a narcisist.
I am sounding depressed....
therapy , done that before doesn't seem to help with my issues.
It is expensive and insurance doesn't cover it. already pay out of pocket for pdoc.
started reading a book on codependants, will see if that helps.
Trivia tonight, art walk tomorrow night. I don't work tomorrow so that gives me time to do other things...like what? I like working as it gives me something to do, a purpose. I feel useful. I enjoy my work for the most part and get good feed back from my clients. I think I do a good job with them but am avoiding my paper work again, I already chart less than I should. Not getting doctor orders like I should, no one inspects me and it was a PITA trying to get orders, doctors don't want to give them to me. I just decided to stop getting them. My life has become sedentary. I sit most of the day and then sit on the computer for hours going from one forum to the next to face book email etc. I started posting on this forum because the other one wasn't enough support.
pleasure seeking, risk taking, depressed sounds like a mixed mood right?
bizi

UGH! I really need to get into that shower!
Happiness is a decision right?
Isn't that what I always say..... __________________