Are there any particular persons that make you confrontational or combative, maybe recalcitrant? Or certain types of issues you talk about?

The adjective thing sounds a bit like your just being deliberately contrarian and maybe confrontational. It could very well be that you honestly want to know which it is so you could change your behaviour, but I can see how that's not how it is perceived.

I'd say: choose your battles and try to distance yourself from your emotions. If it's work-related and everyone has a strong opinion about something, it's fine to argue. Otherwise, think twice about disagreeing: just leave it.

I really "like" your quote. It's hard not knowing yourself other than based on how others see you. They don't know you either, but al least they know someone.

Just try to behave like they want you to. Everyone pretends. Just don't believe it's you or you'll be disappointed.