Quote:
Originally Posted by xraychick01
You have given me some good advice recently and even provided some links to investigate and I appreciate that very much.
I know I have to help myself but I just feel like I can't. I want to be depressed and miserable and feel sad and sorry for myself. Why would anyone choose to be like this?
I am better when I'm around my friends and family and can actually feel somewhat happy (though I feel guilty for feeling that way for some reason) and interact with them. But as soon as I'm all alone in that house we shared I get depressed. Just seeing the house makes me upset and walking through the door is even worse. I have the door closed to one of the bedroom's he used and to the bathroom he used and I walk past that every single day trying to not notice them. My thoughts and emotions and actions confuse me.
I start seeing a therapist next week and it can't get here soon enough.
I still want him back. He's always on my mind. Every song, every place we've been together, every movie or TV show, etc are reminders.
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I'm sure living in the house the two of you shared makes it harder, In my case, my ex made me leave, the house we shared, and I wasn't given any options I had to move 900 miles away and had to move in with my parents, couldn't afford a place of my own, Im on disability, moved in unfortunately with a controlling, mentally and emotionally abusive mother, who has been that way my entire life, so it makes my dealing with my break up that much harder... I wish I was living alone I think I could deal with all this much easier, My mother is constantly making comments about my ex, calling her names, saying bad things about her, all that, regardless, If I did get my heart broken, I don't hate her, I still lover her, and I don't want to hear all that and it makes things so much harder...and its none of her business, I'm a grown adult, Im 49 years old...let me deal how I want to deal...In my time...I completely understand.
