I'm in my 40's and was probably in the top five percent of the population in terms of feeling great about life. Last summer I ended up kissing a guy a few times (luckily nothing beyond that) and professing my great love for him. I am the mother of two wonderful kids and a good yet imperfect husband. My great emotional connection to this guy I kissed lasted around two months. It all makes no sense now. I was diagnosed by a prominent psychiatrist with having had a hypomania incident. He doesn't think I have bipolar though. I keep second-guessing his diagnosis and wondering if it was just plan immoral behavior on my part. The guy I kissed probably wouldn't be my normal type. I am a very straight arrow person. I was a virgin when I got married. I say this to show the kind of self-control I've displayed in life. Anybody ever done this kind of thing? I am well aware of what I did and didn't do. I didn't have a pyychotic episode. My husband when I told him freaked out and his whole family knows. My husband forgives me and wants me to move on. I'm trying so hard to let it go but it's so difficult to accept my bizarre behavior. I keep thinking that my future daughter in laws and grandchildren will judge me by my behavior. Anybody ever experienced this? How do you get over the feeling of thinking that if somebody knew the worst thing you perceived that you did that they wouldn't like you? I'm such a transparent/honest person.