The human mind is expert at attempting to rationalize suffering. Maybe that's what I'm doing now. I have suffered since the age of 13 and I'll be 33 next week. I wanna know why !!!

I don't have anyone/anywhere else to confess, so I came here. Ten years ago, I did the only thing I regret ... the only thing that could/would be considered a sin ... the only action I would take back if I could.

I slept with a wife and mother of two. I was 23, suicidal, and had never kissed a woman before. She was 36, unhappy in her marriage, and also had another lover.

Apart from that one action, I have only done good things, I have gone out of my way to help others, over and over and over again, expecting nothing in return. I have unconditionally loved many.

I cannot think of another reason for all the suffering, which began ten years before I met that woman. I am paying for my action. I think I have more than paid my dues.

If this world is hell for me, the next world has to be heaven, right ?