I feel like crying today. I've felt like it all day. It may have been tipped off by my son this morning. He started crying at 7am when I told him it was time to get ready for school and didn't stop. He was sobbing when I left. I just feel so helpless. I want him to be happy. I don't want him to be paralyzed by fear like I was after my father died.

I had a decent day, just this feeling of sadness and emptiness that is getting worse as the night goes on. I bought wine to drink but it's probably not a good idea to do so. And besides I don't even feel like it. I just feel like going to bed. Thankfully I finished my discussion question. I still have to read two chapters and take two quizzes. I have until Monday night but I want to do it by Sunday night because I know I'll be exhausted on Monday from work.

Work is going well but I have to come up with a plan for my second block class. They are insane. I can't use points like I used to at my old school but I'm thinking of coming up with my own behavior modification system, like everyone starts out with five stars on a Velcro chart and every time I have to reprimand them they lose a star. If they lose all five stars that's an infraction. Something like that. Or maybe I'll go positive and have them earn stars and earn some sort of prize for earning stars. I don't know.

I just want to cry. Hopefully I'll be ok tomorrow.