Thank you very much for your replies! I really appreciate them. He decided to tell me tonight that he's being bullied, which I had absolutely no idea about. The way he told me was heartbreaking because he just looked glazed over as he told me. I asked him a lot of questions about it, one of which being "how does it make you feel?" and he told me that at first he cried a lot but when he had tears in his eyes they would make it worse for him - so then he started trying not to feel anything (which makes a lot of sense with what he originally said, if he's trying to become somewhat emotionless?) I don't know. I'm trying not to push him at all and just trying to be understanding, I'll be contacting school on Monday although he really doesn't want me to... is that the right decision? If I ask for the school to be discreet about it?

Skeezyks - Thank you for the welcome and the advice! I also grew up in a time where things were brushed under the carpet, I just never wanted that for my children at all, so I will try to do all I can

amandalouise - I can't say with absolute certainty that he isn't getting the wording from else where, but he's an articulate child and those worlds are well within his vocab. I will say though, that he is definitely easily influenced at times - however, I can't imagine it was from anywhere else, it was completely random

jimi - thankyou, I agree with you. I've recently just pulled out of him that he was being bullied at school as I said at the beginning of this post, which he never told me about before at all. I try not to push him too much so he doesn't feel forced to tell me anything but at the same time I really want to know everything!

Lost_in_the_woods - I'm not sure what i'm missing really? Possibly a lot but I tried to include everything. We have a stable home life, nothing bad has ever happened really. The reason I feel guilty (and why I think he's missed out on 2 years - which is a big chunk - of his childhood) is a little long winded but... he is my firstborn child and I had terrible post natal depression with him which I felt robbed me of my bonding time with him. I tried incredibly hard but it wasn't until he was 2 that I really got to know him and love him for his person (rather than just the maternal love), whereas my second child I bonded with straight away... so the reason I feel guilty is because I feel as though I completely missed a 2 year window because I was incapable of bonding with a baby (he was the first baby i'd ever held) and regardless of the fact I've tried so hard to get to know him and be there for him and make sure he's happy and content... i've missed this massive thing that's made him say things that I'd expect from an adult?
I've just found out he's being bullied which makes me feel even more guilty - how did I miss this?! It's a disgusting feeling knowing i've let him down by missing it, it's not just guilt but it's almost shame. Shame for not being in touch with him enough to know he's going through this and for some reason i've failed to make him feel comfortable enough to tell me until much later down the line.

And as for him acting like a little adult... I don't know, he just always has. He's still silly and acts like a kid, but he also has an incredibly mature (far too mature in my oppinion!) side to him that developed incredibly young. But I don't understand why your comment on this was followed by "but then you say that you can not see any reason he would be depressed... so I'm a bit confused..." - why would that make him depressed? It's just who he is, i'm not sure I can change that.
He doesn't spend anytime elsewhere to be honest, although he goes to my mums sometimes for the weekend (maybe once every 3 months).

His symptoms started somewhere around when he started school, he actually started wetting the bed when he started (he hadn't done it for a VERY long time before then, he was using the potty at 2, accidents here and there for awhile after but never in bed). A bit of drama: There was a substitute teacher in his class who I knew and she told me that another teacher was being cruel to Josh, when I brought it up to the headteacher everybody denied it and the headteacher got rid of my friend. I came down on them like a tonne of bricks but I was ensured it was all a lie and he never complained after that. He absolutely hated school though, from the first week up until now. He's never liked it and always struggled to make friends (he likes making robots and coding them to work properly and things like that, whereas his classmakes like football etc.)

There have been no life changes. Myself and my partner broke up some time ago but to be honest it didn't seem to rattle the kids at all. He worked away most of the time anyway and they probably see him more now than they did when he was living here. My son has never got on well with his dad though, I'm not too sure why really. It's always been the case, they just show a general lack of interest towards each other and my ex isn't the nicest of people to him to be honest.. he isn't nasty but he's very dismissive and snappy.
Other than that, getting a cat is the only change to our lives.

I had postnatal depression as I said earlier, but other than that no MI before or after. I find it hard to even associate with the person those years ago during the stage of depression! It's strange looking back on it. But nothing he would remember I don't think, plus nothing traumatic happened either - I just failed to bond properly. I still cared for him and practiced attachment parenting (mostly because I thought 'if i can't bond with him right now - i'll carry him everywhere to make up for it!' I think lol)

There are no arguments here at all. Even when my ex and myself broke up we never argued, not in front of the boys or otherwise.

And as for the last question, the sibling relationship is good, really good actually. They argue at times but they never want to be without each other. I definitely treat them both the same but I know my ex favours my youngest rather than him