Thank You to everyone who has replied. I was afraid I was not going to get any feedback because it is such a depraved act. Im glad that I received support from all of you , I was expecting to be ridiculed for what Im doing because Im so ashamed of myself. Yes, I am in therapy and have been for a long time. This behavior is somewhat new (about 1 1/2 years.) Im 35 yrs old. I have so many issues, Im just so overwhelmed. The scary thing is that I feel like Im getting worse as I get older instead of better. Its getting harder and harder and I'm getting weaker and weaker. Thanks for the hugs!!

Who I am Hates who Ive Been.