he came back. he was nice. let me prattle on about work and stuff. near the 'business' end (the wind down) he said he had been thinking about what i was saying before, and he said he thinks he understands now.

that he could let me set the pace.

so that was nice.

now that he has said that (and humoured me all session which shows that he really did understand what i was saying before) i'm sure i'll be able to push myself a little more next time.

its hard. its hard to let him in 'cause if i let him in i feel like i'm being ripped apart when he goes :-( and that undermines my functioning. i'm not strong enough :-(