that sounds like a really great (though emotionally draining) session. i think that it is really great that you told him about how you didn't like the kid with the colored pencils. and... i really liked his response, too.

> He asked if I felt like he betrayed me as a little girl.... I said yes, it did feel like that.

you know... i never thought of that. but yeah, sometimes i think i'm mad with my t because he wasn't there when i was a kid and i needed someone. its like... no matter what he does now it doesn't fix that he didn't save me back then.

> I tried to imagine it and felt safe for a little bit but then it was so painful because there I was telling him exactly what I wanted-- and I can't have it.

yeah. is it nice... that he kind of gave you permission to imagine that, though?

> He said that it's important in therapy for me to experience the other "compartments" of my personality-- and to be able to be in those roles in session... then he said, "but sometimes I want to talk to the poet. I want to talk to you her about her reading and her workshops.... And then I want to ask her things about school."

I said, "You are interested in those things?"

He said, "Why wouldn't I be?" I said-- I just never realized you would be interested in the part that is just.... me.

thats great too. something that i've been struggling with, in fact. that t didn't seem to want / like me. the me that is trying to write my thesis and the me that posts on message boards. last session went better... its important that they like the healthy parts of us too, huh. sounds like a great session. i'm really proud of you for telling him some really hard stuff.