Quote:
Originally Posted by seekingadvicefornow
Hi, my girlfriend and I recently broke up so that she could go back to her ex, we're still in contact and on relatively good terms. He was alcoholic, mentally abusive, and physically abusive. She has children with him, and wants to go back to him to try to have an unbroken family. They were separated for one year, he's been off the alcohol for 6 months, and has now convinced her that he won't be abusive again (he always used alcohol as an excuse for the abuse).
Has anyone been in the same or similar situation as her, and went back to an abusive ex?
Did it or didn't it work?
Did the abuse reoccur?
What advice would you give her?
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I would advise her to get and keep her own money; have an escape plan; the minute he starts again, leave and never go back; and recognize that the abuse she might be able to forgive will have scarred the children.
And for you? I'd give this advice. Allow her to come back to you once. Then if she pulls this again, say you're not going to allow yourself to be used as a cooling-off place.