I'm asking because I've only had two real Ts (more than a session or two) and I didn't find them particularly helpful. This most recent one, who I'm leaving, has a very Freudian viewpoint which I don't find helpful at all. Yes, I can point to the early experience that started off my pattern of choosing the wrong men. What good does that do? I figured that out years ago (on my own) but it hasn't changed things. I still go after the same guys. I need something to help me change my behavior.

I don't find talking about my feelings cathartic, I find that it starts me off on a pattern of negative thoughts that gets worse after therapy. As in, we talk about an argument I had with a friend and next thing I know I'm thinking I'm unlovable. I leave therapy feeling worse than when I go in.

I definitely think a lot of the problem is this T, I've been seeing her nearly 2 years and feel I haven't improved at all. No progress. She has ignored me repeatedly when I ask for homework or different coping skills or anything concrete and productive. The last time we had this talk about my lack of progress and how I wanted a more active instead of touchy feely therapy, she steered the conversation to my relationship with my mother.

I want to change. I want to deal with the issues I have. I just don't know if therapy is helpful. Studies show that 75% of people in therapy benefit. But that means 25% don't. What if I'm in that 25%?