I think you saying "I can't survive without her" speaks volumes. It sounds like you've become very codependent in this relationship and I get that because I'm the same way. My bf tried to leave me when I did something really bad last month and I begged him to stay because he's "my life". Now I know that's not a healthy way to think but i did this. I made him my life and I do depend on him now that I'm not working. I think you deserve better than to be cheated on and maybe you need a break for your own mental health. It's important to keep a sense of independence throughout life though I get this may be hard for people like us. I also have abandonment issues that play into me begging him not to leave. You deserve someone who is your equal, not your whole existence.