Welcome motherofgreatkids!!! It is hard to let go of things you did when in an episode. I really don't get having a hypomanic incident and not being bipolar. Do you have depression? I don't know, but it sounds like you weren't entirely in control of the situation. I'm glad your husband is forgiving. The hardest part is learning to forgive ourselves and then releasing it to the universe. One thing I have learned is no-one is perfect and we all have something we are ashamed of but that is part of being human. Maybe talking to a therapist can help you get past this especially if it has a big impact on your life.