Oh I've been there, done that! When I'm hypo it's like I have no self control and my BPD takes hold. I've cheated, flirted etc and when I finally come down Im in damage control. I'll look through my messages or posts in shame but we're human. BP or not, we aren't perfect. I would talk about this with a T to help you understand why you did what you did and move on. Maybe bring hubby with you too. This is obviously bothering you.