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Originally Posted by musinglizzy
But here's now another T who chooses to make a HUGE change without discussing it with me. She said she spoke to a couple of mentors about me. No one cares what I think, nor do they give me the option to argue my case. They are like effing God, they have our hearts right in the palm of their hands. So, I'm done with T3, who was getting to the point of her being my ONLY T. I was finding more help with her....
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I had something happen to me recently that infuriated me and I sent the rare e-mail to my T concerning it. I was going to see her the following day and because I know that I can minimize, intellectualize and a half dozen other 'ize's in a very short time, wanted to capture my emotional state at the moment before I lost the ability to express it. Here's an excerpt from that e-mail:
"Once again, people with too much power over me who are supposed to be protecting me and providing for my needs will use that power to traumatize. I am in a very dark and dangerous place."
Your situation seems like it has some parallels to mine. I have said the following so often in my life, it's almost become a catch phrase:
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Before you try to help someone, it is helpful to know what help for them is.
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I usually say it as a reminder to myself. I try to help someone and they turn out resenting it or it doesn't turn out helpful at all or something...and then I remember that I never did ask what I could do to help - I just jumped in there and assumed. You T has made some assumptions about what you need and you believe her assumptions were wrong. No one knows more about your experience of being you than you so I'm going to trust your thoughts on this rather than hers. I'm sorry that you are hurt by her unilateral decisions; I would be too.
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Originally Posted by musinglizzy
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME????? I just don't think I'm a good candidate for therapy at all.
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Perhaps your T is not a good candidate for therapy at all. Or maybe she is just imperfect and is trying her best and her best just happens to suck in this case. But you - naw, you're a good candidate for therapy...I've read your posts.