I really don't believe that it works for everyone and that could be because of a number of factors! Therapist and client not a good match, client not ready to do therapy. Client not knowing all of the factors before starting therapy and going to see a t and not agreeing to the contract. Ts modality not suiting clients needs. I do think this last point is really important because not every type of therapy works for every client.
It sounds like cbt or dbt could work better for you because the provide you with the skills and copy methods you desire from your t. Because she is psychodynamic her belief is that systemic and family issues are the cause of your problems, sure, most of these are the root but what do we need to help us deal with these problems in the present? Of course we need some coping skills and techniques when we learn that our past is still affecting our present. I think an integrative t would be better for you because they could incorporate some cbt/ dbt into your therapy to teach you new skills therapy can work for you but maybe this t isn't and her approach isn't!
I think it's a ts responsibility to discuss and be frank about what and how they do with the client before starting, to make a plan to see if what the t can provide will work for the client.