The incident no matter how traumatizing it was at the time is in the past. You meet the situation head on and took responsibility for it, great work. You are lucky enough to have a partner who understands. That is a benefit. He has forgiven you, but it sounds like you have not forgiven yourself. Maybe you should cut yourself some slack, as to whether or not you are BP I don't really think that that matters yet. You Pdoc will help to try to regulate you with medications if it comes to that. in the meantime don't fixate on a diagnosis. Try to use some life skills to cope. I hope that you can forgive yourself and move on.
And yes like many of the others that posted that would be a drop in my bucket of regrets of things I have done while hypo. I unfortunately have a different situation with my SO and it probably would not go so well. But those are my struggles not yours.

One of the things that I have found hard about this disease is to not take others moods/experiences on. I can be going along great and something that I will read here or something that happens in real life will trigger a bout with hypo/manic or a depressive episode.

Be strong and stick by yourself, it sounds like that is what your husband is doing. I wish you the best.