Emotions in some people are felt so strongly that they feel as if they are consuming the soul. They grasp the mind and brain and twist the very life out of them. It is people like this that seek to numb themselves with any method they can find. I did it with alcohol for 40 years and now I do it with medication. Anytime I start to feel a real emotion I am on the search for a med to quickly tamp it down.

I think that everyone with a MI is one of these people and I often wonder why we developed such a strong sense of emotion, at times I think we were meant to be the creators, the dreamers and the artists that propel the world ahead. When society tries to crush us down to fit the norm, our emotions scream out for release and we seek something to numb the mind.

Now at 55 years old I am afraid to feel any emotion and I wonder what has the world lost from slamming me down?

It takes time to learn how to feel "normal" emotions and I hope you find that time or that you find a creative outlet for the overpowering sensations that sweep through you.

Darcy