Hello. I will warn, my post will be quite long. I feel like I must put as much detail as possible in order to get the best response.

I'm 23 years old, and my boyfriend is 21. We have been together since November 2014 after I moved from Puerto Rico to Florida to be with him after months of talking. Initially we lived separately, but due to certain family circumstances on my side, I moved in with him and his mom in March 2015. We have been living together since, and got a place of out own in January.

During our time together we have had many arguments as couples tend to do. Usually they are centered around certain things he does, although I must admit I have developed somewhat of an anger management problem that sends me into a rage induce rant where I say or do hurtful things. A very common problem we face is that he spends a lot of time online, specifically on YouTube. Another problem we have argued about is the future and marriage, as I feel ready to move to the next stage and he does not.

As of recently, it seems like our arguments have gotten more recent and more heated. In the beginning of August we had a bad argument because he wasn't being responsible with school since he was on YouTube all the time. I would say that's about when our current situation started.

I found out he had been talking to a female coworker a lot over Facebook messenger. He wouldn't let me even hold his phone, and would get defensive if I grabbed it from the night table or desk. That's when I got suspicious and saw to the extent that they were talking. It seemed like he would wait for me to either be at work or asleep to talk to her. I asked him to please tone it down, because even though it wasn't anything inappropriate, the sheer volume of the conversations made me feel uncomfortable. He said that he would indeed stop if it made me feel that way.

A couple of days pass, and I noticed his attitude towards me was different. When I go on his Facebook messenger, I see that he had been still talking to her. But this time, half of the conversation had been deleted. His excuse was that he knew that if I saw the conversation, I would be upset. Lying and attempting to hide things from me makes me upset too, because in my opinion if you are deleting messages it is for a reason. At that point I went to the store but continued texting him about it, until he admitted that he had an infatuation with her. At that point I lost it and asked him to leave the house ASAP. He bought some boxes and packed all his things and left.

Next morning I spoke to my mom. She helped me put things a little more into perspective, and made me realize that this was something we could work on. Besides this, he has been a really supportive person and really takes care of me (I have diabetes and he helps me manage everything in my life pretty well). He texted me that morning asking if he could come over and take a nap as he slept in his car and didn't get much sleep. I agreed and thought about talking to him when he woke up.

When he got up from his sleep, we started talking. I asked him what he wanted to do, to which he replied he wanted a break. Due to the circumstances of there being feelings for someone else, I was not on board with that. I gave him the option of keep dating, but live separately for a while until we cooled down. He could have the space he needed and we could still work on each other. He opted for breaking up, and that to me felt like him picking the other girl over me. I again lost it, and did a couple of things that I am very ashamed of doing. I threw a promise ring he had given me at him, broke a picture frame of us, and slapped him in the face. This is the first time anything has escalated violently between us.

He left again. After a couple of hours thinking I decided to again try to work things out. At this point he was (understandably) very hurt by how I acted, and wanted to be alone. I gave him some space, and didn't try to contact him until the next day. After that he stayed over two nights, where we talked pretty much like normal. The first night we talked I again gave him the option of just dating to which he agreed at first, only to change his mind the next morning. Second night went pretty much the same, he agreed to try it out even though he insisted what he really wanted was a break. My reason for not wanting a break was because I did not want him trying to get with this other girl and then coming back to me when she denied him. Unfortunately, that's exactly what happened.

Our initial breakup was on Saturday. We agreed on dating but living separately for a while on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. We texted some on Wednesday and Thursday I asked him to have lunch with me on my lunch break. His excuse was he was too busy. Thursday evening I asked if he wanted dinner, his excuse was he was too exhausted, but that we could definitely plan for Friday night. Friday night comes and we go out to dinner. We had a nice time, and he spent the night without me asking. I asked to see his phone on Saturday morning, and he started acting sketchy again but reluctantly gave it to me. He kept trying to look over my shoulder to see what I was doing.

I did check his text messages, as he had previously deleted the girl off Facebook but refused to delete her phone number. He had been texting her since the night we broke up. He asked for the phone back and when he gave it back to me, he had deleted the conversation. What he didn't delete was a screen shot of him asking her out on a date, and her denying him. This happened Thursday, when we were supposed to be together. His search history showed him looking for first date ideas, and dating advice. This was not even two days after initially breaking up.

His stance has been one of doubt. He keeps saying he doesn't know what he wants to do, that he's hurt. Until she denied him, that is. Then he changed his tune to saying that he doesn't want us to lose all we have built together in these past two years. He says that her saying no to him was a wake up call to not wanting to lose what we have. I'm very hurt about it as I see it as me being the back up plan in case things didn't work out with her. He kept me on hold waiting to see if she was interested and when she wasn't, then he wants to make things right.

I've been through so much heartbreak this past week it's almost unbearable. He is pretty much all I have, as I have no family that lives nearby and no friends. I do love this man and want a future with him, but can't stop thinking about what he did, and I feel like I can't trust him anymore. It puts into doubt anything that he says. Because how can he say he was invested in the relationship if he got feelings for someone else and tried to act on them?

I'm very sorry for the long post and hope someone can give some insight and help me in what decision to make.