This is my story. Except i did way worse.
You are not an awful person, you made a mistake during a period of time you were very sick.

I went a full year of sleeping with 3 different guys.

I got my wake up call when my husband said to me if i wanted to be with him and stay living in our home, with our kids, it ends today and we go to therapy, and i stay on my meds. It was my intervention, of sorts.

I stopped. I saw drs. He comes to every appointment. He comes to therapy. He knows everything. He trusts me again. He learned it was my illness, not that i didnt love him. Weve moved on, after apx 2 years, we are strong again. And i am sober and med compliant.