For several years the only emotions that have still been vivid are fear and anger. Though recently things have been changing in my head, and I have experienced the sharp pain in my heart of hurting at random times. I was like what the hell, as I cried and had forgot how fresh pure heartache felt. The last few manic episodes I had the euphoria at times was the best thing I have ever felt in my life, or at least can remember feeling. I don't know what it all means, but I feel like some emotion is returning ironically at the same time I am falling into the depths of my own mental problems.