I have never been on medication. I have just entered therapy for the first time in 30 years. I have been living BP1 with psychotic elements among other disorders. It has wrecked my life yet again, and has knocked me to the bottom so many times before. I am afraid to take meds, but at this point I know something has to change. I have kept my life together at times for even years at a time, but that was a long time ago. In recent years I could only keep my life on track a few months at a time at the longest. I am just surviving at this point. This is what happens without meds. Or so they tell me.