Nat92 - You're not hearing me. I don't disbelieve you. I accept that you have very little materially. I accept that you give your income (or most of it) to your parents. I accept that your parents are not in good circumstances. You absolutely do sound like a family in distress.

But answer me this: Would you do to a daughter of yours what your parents are doing to you? Do you think your parents are treating you fairly?

If your answer is "Yes," then why do you say that responsibility is being "dumped" on you?

Nat, pay attention because this is important. Nobody says stuff is being dumped on them, if they feel that a burden is being shared fairly.

You clearly do not feel you are being treated fairly. But you also say that your parents are being as fair as they possibly can be. Which is it? Are you being treated fairly . . . . OR . . . . are you being treated unfairly? Both those things cannot be simultaneously true.

Now, I do understand that it's very possible that this world and life in general may have been very unfair to your whole family. It may be that your parents, and your grandma and you, yourself, have all been given a raw deal by life in general.

But you didn't come on here to lament about how tough life can be. You are very obviously mad at someone. But that's where you start to do a dance. Your poor sister has a baby and "her own life," so what can she possibly do? Your poor mom has to take care of granny, so what more can she possibly do? Your poor parents have debts, but that's not their fault, poor things.

You heart is just bursting with understanding and compassion for everyone in the family, the poor things. Meanwhile, you are pissed as h£\\ at somebody. Do you hear what I'm saying?

I think you have denied yourself a right to your own feelings. You believe that, as a good person, you have to pity everyone else and not judge anyone for how they developed the problems they have. And, if they need help, well, then, by golly, you are only too glad to do what you possibly can to ease their difficulty. So that's what you are doing . . . . and that's what you believe you should be doing . . . and have to be doing. And so you're doing it, and you will keep doing what you can to help this family that you love so dearly, UNLESS . . . . . . . . one of these days you grab the biggest knife in the kitchen and slit everyone of their blood-suckin' throats.

Nat, whether you want it or not, you do have my sympathy . . . . . my heartfelt, sincerest sympathy. You are very depressed and that hurts. One theory holds that depression is anger turned inwards. I'm not sure that's always true, but I believe it is what's going on with you.

You are very angry, but when I ask you who you are angry at, basically, you say "Nobody." And that's just not true. But, if you feel angry, and you tell yourself that you have no right to be angry at anybody, then the anger just festers and starts to rot your insides.

I take care of my invalid boyfriend. Sometimes I'm just sick to death of doing it. He can't help being sick, but sometimes I get mad and think, "Well, it's not my fault he's sick." Sometimes, I just wish he'ld hurry up and die. Sometimes I'm mad and I snap at him for the least little thing. Sometimes I'm mad that he didn't work harder when he was young and save his money, so, at least he could give me something for all I'm doing. I don't have to do anything for him. But I'ld be lonely without him, so I'll care for his needs and keep him going as long as I can.

What I'm saying is that maybe I understand more than you realise.

Oh, like the poster above: When I left my parents home at age 26, my father said, "You are basically a selfish person." That still bothers me.