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Ok, back to the drawing board again. Apparently, blaming ourselves isn't all bad. Somewhere there must be a balance between blaming ourselves and taking accountability.

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I beg to differ. Blaming ourselves is precisely what sabotages our ability to take responsibility. We often don't see it that way because it's one of those two-sided things where the dominant message in society only focuses on ONE side: how blaming OTHERS for your problems leads to not taking responsibility, and NEVER (or almost never) addresses the OTHER side: how blaming ourselves interferes with and sabotages our capacity to take responsibility.

Blaming self and taking responsibility/being accountable are two separate matters entirely. There IS NO "balance between" them. Validation and legitimization is the royal golden road that leads to that capacity and blaming self (or internalizing the blame others have tried to put on us) is the hindrance to receiving validation and legitimization.

Society is SICK -- it offers toxins to "cure" other toxins instead of a real cleanse or cure. Instead of offering validation and legitimacy to "heal" us from victimization and others' blame, it offers us self-blame instead, because that's all a sick society knows how to do. Because of their lack of understanding they believe that poison is actually beneficial to them -- and because of their lack of experience of anything truly beneficial they lack understanding of real alternatives. To them it's either Toxin A or Toxin B, and Toxin B at least creates the illusion of self-responsibility in, say, 65% of its imbibers. They in turn go on to recommend it under the guise of self-responsibility, and so the memetic brainwashing is innocently passed along as "common sense" and "folk wisdom" from parent to child, town to town, falsely so-called "expert" to desperate audience, etc. etc. ad nauseum. And because these people have little or no experience with a real cure they are inclined to believe the better of two toxins is good enough and all they can expect to hope for in this world.

(now you see why I'm insane ... my head is FULL of this kind of thing ... CONSTANTLY .... it NEVER STOPS ... )