No, I don't believe that the spirits of our loved ones just sit around with nothing else to do but "watch us." I do believe like you do, that they are available to us if and when we need them.

The first time my dad spoke to me when my baby daughter lay in her crib burning up with a fever that could have killed her; that to me was as real as me sitting here typing this is.

What happened when I was trimming the lemon grass, I believe, was the energy that he left behind in me. While I remember him being affectionate towards me while he was alive, the overall "attitude" was that he wasn't happy being where he was... with us. I now know why. It was the grandmother's presence and her ever present evil, control and manipulations.

Now HER I've had trouble getting rid of her spirit hanging around me. She appeared to my oldest son shortly after her death, (he saw her!) I felt the evil in the room and a cold place around the seat where she always sat.

After I was regressed in therapy and remembered what she had done to me, I could feel her behind me for a long, long time, smelled her with and without the Tabu that she wore on Sundays. I told her repeatedly to go back to where she belonged and to LEAVE ME ALONE!!! It seems she's finally listened, but just by speaking of it right now, I'm afraid that she'll start coming around again. (shiver!) I don't know what she wanted from me and I really couldn't care less! She can go haunt the rest of the family that she harmed! They can deal with her!

Thanks for sharing your views. As I suspected, we share some of those beliefs. I haven't read The Great Divorce. I'll have to look for the book and hope I find it. I've got most of C. S. Lewis' works already.

Have you read The Screwtape Letters? I found that especially fascinating! His Sci-Fi books were exceptional, too.