greetings,.

I am over the hill now, around 52 i think, and I had "friends" galore all of my life, was very popular and loved having a great time and becoming a legend of the 80s. I don't see any of those people anymore. Havnt in years, alot of the died from drugs and mental issues, a couple suicides, etc.

so fastforward 30plus years and I have a small, yet very cherished group of real friends now. last year my mother passed after a very long 10 years of demntial illness into alzheimers. I had her for fiveyears and the had POA, was left alone by my three sisters to make the decisions. I was glad just surprised how horrrible my family has become. Its severe codependency issues that has me going to therapy and them on the hate me and I've hurt them campaign. it's focked up.

getting to my point. last year i fell into depression greiving over paranet and now my sisters, expecially the babay who is the anti-christ. honestly, i can understand the entire dynanic about why my family is who they are and why we were destubed to be unable to have a healthy and loving relationship. so 9 was n this depresssion and she and i shared a few people. mostly kids in their 20s, my hairdresser, his friend whom i loved. Most people euther stepped back and just stay friends with both of us not worrying abuout anything. i have several of those special folk. but the hairdresser whom i was very close with and she onky stays up late with them and drinks all hours of the night is not speaking to me at all. The weak little jerk was the only one who let her influendce him into picking sides. hea just verbablly went off on my after dinner one night and I thought im olde enough to e his young grandma, and i hve nothing left to say to the ***.

so aftr that incldient, i started turning off my impulse control swith in my brain, and i am proud to say that I drove every person who was getting cloer to me away. Alot of the didn't have the gumption to ride over the little moments with me and not be afraid or let me run from me. At this age, i can piss someone off in less than sa minue.

my husband and two best girlfriends of 33 and 34 years remain. the one is flakey, horrible undependable and rude without knowing it she shows me she doesnt holld e in esteem now, but this eyeia\s smeing special.

im getting so tired i''m falling asleeeph. i hope i hade somesomense. fsory if i didn't fit,