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_fleurette_
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Member Since Dec 2014
Location: LT
Posts: 10
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Default Sep 12, 2016 at 06:54 AM
 
Hey everyone,
I've returned to this place - it seems - after a few years and I'm stuck in the initial recovery stage again. Fighting with my structured eating aka meal plan in my f***ed up mind. I am also fighting with stupid thoughts to cancel my therapy meeting which is due tomorrow. Attending individual therapy since Feb this year. It is very hard to talk about myself trying to recover and feeling like a failure at the same time because I've had this Ed (something in between exercise-driven bulimia and binge eating disorder) in my head for so long. 20 years or so.
Also struggling with my perfectionist, codependent and people-pleasing nature. And feeling of being fat. However, I am determined to continue my therapy and to continue following my eating plan. So hard. Hope I'm not alone in this

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. - Anaïs Nin
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LucyD