After all these years... any alter finally shared... a "new" memory.. but not "new"... we knew it was there all along.. does that make any sense..it has always been there.. waiting until... it could be safe enough to share...

My father and my uncle were alot alike... I couldn't stand to be near my uncle.. just hated to go over there ever.. and thank goodness didn't have to...very much...
So Thanksgiving came up... I was 8 years old.. and got terrible chicken pox.. just terrible.. being a red head... and so could not go to the Thanksgiving meal at my maternal grandparents... and I begged my mom to stay home with me..

Instead, I was dropped at my uncles.. I begged to wear my party dress... so my Mom let me..

I am so stupid.. so very stupid.. I should have worn pants..

My uncle... fondled me... yes.. what I already knew.. to sit on his lap met that it excited him...

And so... a very sad little girl... that day... when my parents picked me up... my sister.. laughed.. because she also knew "what" my uncle was like...

So... I am also a stupid, stupid little girl... if I had just worn pants... instead.. I had to wear that party dress..

It was the last time.. I ever wanted to wear a dress.. as a little girl.. ever...

I feel such hate towards my T... I keep trying to tell "me".. that it was my uncle.. but it just doesn't feel like it..