Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayne Selene
I can't get off the couch. I have no motivation. I recently quit/was fired from a job. I'm trying to find a new one but the market here is really bad...there's almost nothing I'm qualified to do (I'm still a student...no experience in anything and everyone wants experience), and what I am won't pay enough to pay my bills. My bank account is overdrafted by about $200. I've been applying to jobs all day for three days straight and have heard nothing. Now I just...can't move. I need to clean. I need to exercise. I need to eat. But it's taking all my effort to type this. I have no one to help me. My boyfriend has never dealt with mental illness and idk how to explain this to him. So I act happy and fine when he's around. My family lives thousands of miles away and I have no friends here. I thought I could do this. But maybe I can't. I feel like I'm sinking in the mud and anything would be better than this. My limbs feel cold and heavy. What do I do? Every time I move, I think about the fact that I have no idea how I'm going to make it through the month and I freeze again. I'm putting this here because I don't know if this is anxiety...or depression...or some weird aspect of my Bipolar Disorder that I haven't dealt with before. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't move. Please help me. I keep moving from hysteria to this silent, frozen feeling. I can't get it together.
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When I get to feeling this way I go take a hot shower. I know the feelings are mental but sometimes treating the body ....as if.... the feeling of coldness and heaviness are physical it does this thing in the brain of stimulating \activating the brain into action again. kind of like on a cold winter day a hot cup of chocolate will bring about a change in moods and physically feeling better, or a nice glass of an iced beverage on a hot day helps to change the mood and helps a person feel emotionally better. sometimes when the mental or emotional shut down happens doing something that is at its most extremely simple most basic self care step like standing under a nice shower can cause the brain to activate all the positive stuff in the brain.
as for the no job, maybe set a small goal each day of applying to one place today or two or what ever you feel you can handle instead of maybe trying to get it done all at once. take little step