Hello Pittylova: If the mental health experts are to be believed, we have to accept that mental illness is a physiological condition involving the neurochemicals in the brain. And, of course, there can also be life experiences that have an impact as well. (At least this is my clumsy way of putting it.) Anyway... the point being... your boyfriend has an illness that requires treatment. And in order for him to heal, he's going to have to seek the necessary treatment including therapy & / or medications.

You mentioned several ideas you've had for things you might be able to do that might help. And they may. But, from my non-professional perspective, they may be unlikely to cure him. So my thinking is... go ahead & try any or all of them as long as it's not too disruptive to do so. But don't expect that these things are going to resolve your bf's issues.

I know you wrote that you've offered to go to therapy with him. (I don't know if he's going himself.) But, really, your bf is going to have to do what is necessary in order to achieve whatever amount of healing is possible. You can be as supportive as possible. (And it sounds as though you have been.) However, you cannot heal him any more than you could heal him if he developed a heart condition. And the bottom line here from my perspective is that if your bf will not, or even if he cannot, do what he needs to do to heal you cannot save him. And you must not allow his condition to drag you down as well, if for no other reason than for the sake of your kids. So from that perspective you may want to consider seeking some individual therapy for yourself, given that you say this situation is killing you inside.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!