For me.it is Hell, it's like you have the energy of mania, while at the sametime being in the darkness of depression. This happened to me.twice where I had a dysphoric mania/mixed episode, and both times attempted suicide. One episode of which I lost 11 days of memory. Then there the anger and rage, irritability, hopelessness, racing thoughts, I don't really get paranoid in these episodes too much but it is still there (I'm more.paranoid in either depressive episodes or outside of episodes). But it's like you have the deep dark thoughts, suicidal ideation, and the energy to actually act on it, well for me that's how it is, coupled with not sleeping for.days on end, it is a comical mix out of Hell. Scary really...