I'm sure it is tough to want something so badly, but- I hope this doesn't come across as rude because it's not intended to sound that way at all, it's just hard to find a way to explain it- if you are mainly wanting a baby to fix problems then it is probably not a good idea. Babies don't solve past or current problems, or fix relationships, or make guilt go away. What if for some reason you did have to leave your baby with someone due to an emergency, would you have that same guilt? It may just create another person to feel guilty about. A baby should be born because you want to create a person, not to fill voids and solve problems. That baby will have to carry the responsibility of being around to make you feel better about yourself.

I'm sure you are aware that it may not be the best idea right now or you wouldn't be here sharing your situation. I would definitely continue to talk about it with someone.