I could be wrong but I believe that years of bullying while at school is still affecting me now.

Time is a great healer they say, I struggled too form close freindships in the first year once I left school. I struggled in my first stint at college.

After a year during which I had a job I returned too college and did the same course achieving the highest possible grade and winning two awards.

However even during that period forming close friendships was difficult and I would back out of social events using the best excuse I could think of. Recently however I have become more social and although only with a few people I do now have close friends. I still avoid social events or even just going out to the pub if there are not many people there that I feel comftable with. I also avoid joining in with conversations, waiting for someone to speak to me first.

Sometimes I dream about school and wake up panicking and am unable too fall back asleep. Whenever I see anyone from school who had bullied me I immediately get ready for a confrontation although there has been none.

I have anxiety and depression which is causing me doubt and this has sometimes affected me socially aswell. I sometimes feel that what happened at school is what has bought on my depression and anxiety.