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Old Oct 20, 2007, 04:36 PM
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I just burst into tears whilst having dinner tonight in front of everyone. How humiliating. I wanted my hubby to come upstairs and just hold me but he didn't. Do I have to ask each time, he knew I was upset, is it wrong of me to expect this? Rugby is obviously far more important. My daughter came upstairs. My daughters friend hugged me and she is having pros with her mum and reminds me of my relationship with my mum, it was a small trigger, not her fault at all, just really upset me.

I have read about abuse and abusers today from my daughter who is reading a Boy called It which is helping her to understand me, he went through much much worse than me but it all triggers. Dani my daughter keeps telling her b/f clips from the book and I asked her not to, now she is quoting good and positive pieces from the book.

I need my mountains, my solitude, peace, oh my, peace.......

I will take 3 sleeping tablets today I think and just sleep sleep sleep

Jin xoxoxoxo