Maybe therapy isn't the best method for me, and I was wondering if anyone can help shed light on this.

I've was raised in a family that was very dysfunctional and I have separated from them, I have attempted to make friends to compensate for that, but with the environment that I was raised in, my social skills are lacking (introvert and outsider). I have two good friends who I see weekly and I have found that they are real honest friends. They want to be around me because they like me. After my divorce, I found a lot of the people who I considered friends we not at all. A few stuck around, and after spending time evaluating how my friendships work and function, I found several who are only really around when they need/want something.

One example "John" who likes to call me "his best friend", but always makes an excuse about being able to go golfing with me, never has time for a beer, etc. I won't hear from for months at a time, but then he will text me out of the blue and want dinner/drinks with me. And each time I have told one of my honest friends what "John" is going to ask for, because he basically always hints around, and it's turned out to be true. Some of my honest friends agree with me when I decided some time ago to very much limit myself in these relationships. My therapist even agrees that a lot of my relationships are like that.

Overall this leaves me feeling exceptionally alone. With just two people in the world that treat me like a human being.

Now, I know 3 therapists that have stated flat out that part of their job is to create a connection using friendship with their clients so that they facilitate the therapeutic process. My therapist says that I am her client, and when I say that we are friends too, she agrees, but will say that it's a "gray area." I don't know how to be a "gray area", when I am someones friend that's it for me, otherwise I really don't think of them as such. My therapist has said that we are totally friends, and that if she wasn't my therapist she thinks we would get along really well. Of all the people I have met in my life, she is one of the few that I feel we have a really strong connection, we just kind of click. We've talked about it and she feels the same way, she said it's rare, but it happens in therapy that two people get alone and have so much in common along along with personalities that compliment each other.

The issue that I have, and I think it's a problem at this point, is that the root of what a lot of therapists do is forge a "friendship", but it's very one way, and as a person who is suffering from way too many one way relationships, I don't think this is benefiting me. I've talked to my therapist about this, but she still maintains we are friends, that she is my friend. But she does the exact same things that the people who are my "one way" friends do, she only contacts me if I contact her.

I've told her I need a lot more therapist then friend at this point. I am moving forward with therapy with her, as we have hashed out something she did where she really betrayed me, and she is making huge steps to regain that trust, so she's on probation. That's really great for me, as I don't want to have to explain my history to someone else, and have to go through this who "let's be friends" crap.

Anyone else been in this situation and what did you do?