As I’ve mentioned before my two “dark” parts are a male (probably introject from my dad) egocentric, grandiose, and self-loving. I started calling him Antisocial although he’s really not that, but that’s what I’ve called him so I’ll continue to use it here. The other I call Female Snotty B***h or F.S. for short. I had a really hard time getting in touch with her.

So I’ve been looking at these “motives” from outside and now a little from inside, too.

Learning to accept them is part of why I’ve been in this forum, I suspect. It was nothing I consciously set out to do, just an opportunity to participate in something I wanted to try.

The overtly (male) grandiose part didn’t feel dangerous, just socially unacceptable. So I’ve accepted that feeling pretty well within myself, don’t have to act it out a lot.

Allowing and accepting Female Snotty has been harder – but I have a cat who has helped me. She can’t say, of course, “you’re not petting me with that other hand and I want you too, I feel slighted and I’m mad about it” when I’m sitting at the computer desk and petting her with one hand. So she mouths, slightly bites, the hand that is using the mouse.

So that’s it! Antisocial (motivation) says “I’m great!” Female Snotty says “If you hurt me I’ll hurt you back.” When all her impulses to do that kind of thing got shamed and stymied, the feeling got very pathological and “malignant” even though in my case I have mostly directly that energy at myself.

Are Antisocial and Female Snotty my True Self? How about, they are part of it.