I find it interesting that you see the male "part" in a far more positive light than the female. He's just "the Antisocial". She, however, is a "snotty *****".

This might sound a bit nuts, but bear with me:

Change her name to something that isn't negative. Go for neutral if necessary, but just do it. I'm serious.

Nobody likes being called a "snotty *****". You're hurting her by calling her that, is it any wonder she's hard to communicate with?