I guess this goes here...couldn't find another place as fitting, so my apologies if this is wrong.

I've been in a lot of pain recently, that's been so bad its been keeping me up tonight, to the point that I can't even sleep, and its that fundamentally I'm unlovable. Its just time to face the music at this point. I'm unlovable. I've never been loved, shown affection, or even had someone reciprocate interest in me when I took initiative, so its not for lack of trying. I've never been on a date, or had any girl (I'm a lesbian) remotely interested in me. I'm so horrifically lonely, and in such constant physical and emotional pain from skin hunger, loneliness, and a lack of EVER experiencing love or connection from anyone, and I just can't take it anymore.

Hell even when I look for people who've had experiences like mine, and even when I've looked for advice, I'm just reminded about my inadequacy over and over again. Even the worst I've seen my age (21) have at least SOME dating experience under their belt even if they've never been in a fully committed relationship. Meanwhile here I am hopelessly single, never been on a date before, and never even had someone interested in me, and stuck in a situation where literally every single lesbian I know has a girlfriend, and the ONE I've met otherwise has eyes for another.

Its just simple math as well. All you have to do is do the maths, and there's no chance in hell I'll ever find someone willing to date someone like me who's high maintenance and damaged goods...let alone that given person having a mutual interest in me. I'm just beyond what almost all people would consider for a partner, and its just becoming blatantly more apparent as times goes on.

I guess I also just realize that I'm really not deserving of someone's love. After all, all I'll be one anyone who can put up with me is a burden and an inconvenience, and its not like my looks or lack of knowledge regarding how to be a good girlfriend will help me at all. Overall, I'm just not worthy of someone's love. It's literally unfair to whoever enters into a relationship with me. I literally have no redeeming qualities to balance it out, and thus I don't deserve to be loved. Admitting that, it...literally...physically...hurts...